Ferahgo
05-02-2008, 09:12 PM
I've been writing a story, and the first paragraph still bigs me a bit. Can I get your guys's opinion on this, it would mean a lot.
The leaves of the trees surrounding the clearing rustled as a cool breeze swirled around them. The clearing itself, a small, bare and lonely oasis in the vast forest of the north, was illuminated by a single beam of moon light; the only one that had managed to pierce the dense foliage above. A single winding path ran up to the clearing, baring signs of past use but now overtaken here and there by grass. It is, you might say, as typical a clearing as you might find in the far reaches of any old forest. Yet, around the clearing, there was something in the air, some essence that made the clearing seem special. During the day, soft green light penetrated the foliage above, casting a warm ethereal glow over the greenery. All those who were graced by this sight, or touched by the warmth of the light felt renewed vigor in their bodies. No matter how rickety and decrepit their body might be, youth returned to their hearts and peace to their souls. To call the clearing magical would be a sin for such a word doesn’t even begin to do its beauty justice. And as beautiful as the clearing is during the day, that beauty is nothing compared to that of the clearing at night. At night, the moon shines down upon the forest, and the clearing is cast into dim shadows. Dancing spirits swirl and twirl around and within the clearing, moving among the shadows, bringing life to darkness, the epitome of death.
The leaves of the trees surrounding the clearing rustled as a cool breeze swirled around them. The clearing itself, a small, bare and lonely oasis in the vast forest of the north, was illuminated by a single beam of moon light; the only one that had managed to pierce the dense foliage above. A single winding path ran up to the clearing, baring signs of past use but now overtaken here and there by grass. It is, you might say, as typical a clearing as you might find in the far reaches of any old forest. Yet, around the clearing, there was something in the air, some essence that made the clearing seem special. During the day, soft green light penetrated the foliage above, casting a warm ethereal glow over the greenery. All those who were graced by this sight, or touched by the warmth of the light felt renewed vigor in their bodies. No matter how rickety and decrepit their body might be, youth returned to their hearts and peace to their souls. To call the clearing magical would be a sin for such a word doesn’t even begin to do its beauty justice. And as beautiful as the clearing is during the day, that beauty is nothing compared to that of the clearing at night. At night, the moon shines down upon the forest, and the clearing is cast into dim shadows. Dancing spirits swirl and twirl around and within the clearing, moving among the shadows, bringing life to darkness, the epitome of death.