Jokes Section

[firechameleon]

post ur jokes here for others to read...........

wife:have u seen our new next door neighbours?
husband:yah........... :x
wife:they've got a brand new car........
husband:yah....... :x
wife:aww....... the husband kissed his wife before going to work.......
how come u never do that......?
husband: are u nuts.......? her husband will never let me.........

[DwizZz]

haha good one

Blonde Jokes (Specially for Noobie:$ haha )
a: Why do blondes like lightning?
b: They think someone is taking their picture.

a: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
b: From eating with forks.

[lokifeyson]

lol, nice

why are blonde's belly buttons black and blue?

cause blond guys aren't that smart either!

[DwizZz]

haha nice 1 loki

Noobie is gonna hate us i think
hahaha

[xBRONCOS]

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees? well being, asked sympathetically, ?What?s the matter??

The blonde replies, ?Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.?

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. ?Why don?t you go home for the day, we aren?t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.?

The blonde very calmly states, ?No, I?d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.?

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. ?If you need anything, just let me know.?

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, ?What?s so bad now. Are you gonna be ok??

?No!? exclaims the blonde. ?I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!?

[S.W.A.T]

Importance of a name
____________________


Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Peter's station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?"

"Yes, I have to admit that I did."

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"

[`wolf]

1. whats with all the blond jokes
and noobie wont care
shes a great and understanding gal!


and second, LOL!
i suck at jokes :D

[ChaosSlumber]

things to make u ponder:

Whose idea was is to have an 's' in the word 'lisp'


if quitters never win, and winners never quit, then what idiot came up with quit while your ahead?

Why do the sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Why is a carrot more orange than and orange?

[noobie]

Lmao, theyre all brilliant......And i love the blonde jokes btw lol, not heard a good un for ages till now, ive got a few myself, ill post some up later lol

[Siren]

http://www.titane.ca/igod/

talk to god




Me:
What it do
God:
Now that is saying a mouthful.
Me:
of ***
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
I bet you never been laid
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. No I sometimes been laid.
Me:
by who
God:
" No I sometimes been laid."? By who?
Me:
SO you haven't been laid before
God:
Interesting deduction. I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Me:
mmm you hooking up with them cyber whores
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hooking up with them cyber whores.
Me:
Man your a ***
God:
Cool, man. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. That is a rude question.
Me:
SHUTUP CHINK
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
Good
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
bye ***
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later!
Me:
SHUTUP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
YOu better
God:
Who is going to make me?
Me:
me
God:
How are you going to make me?
Me:
I'm gonna beat the **** out of you
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, .
Me:
Fine ill hack you
God:
I am glad to hear it. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Yeah Send it to Allah
God:
Then I will consider it. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) .
Me:
WTH I TOLD YOU TO SHUTUP A WHIEL AGO
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
SHUT THE **** UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
GOOD ***** *****
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
STOP TALKING
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
Hi allison
God:
Hi there . Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Hi joe
God:
Hi there . Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Hi michael jackson
God:
Hi there . My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
WHAT THE **** !
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
YOUR GOD AND ALLISON AND JOE AND MICHAEL JACKSON
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am GOD AND ALLISON AND JOE AND MICHAEL JACKSON.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
uck you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Your a transgender?
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a transgender? Only when it matters.
Me:
you fail
God:
Interesting gossip: said I fail.
Me:
i'm seducing you
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
bye *****
God:
Adios.